I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
