Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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