Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
