He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Iโm going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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