new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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