considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
