good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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