you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
