Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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