I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
