We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
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Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
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My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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