I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
