Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
