Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
