you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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