it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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