Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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