my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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