Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
