Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Randomize
