I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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