i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
