12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
