Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
