I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize