I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
