C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Houston, we have a blender
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
