If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she smelled like a LAN party
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
