O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
