I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You made out with two different species that night
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
