Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
