i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
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Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
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All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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