Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
