Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
