So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When did angry sex become our thing?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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