apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
