Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
