apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
how does that bad decision feel?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
