Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Randomize
