hotel room ftw
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy