Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders