why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
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Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
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He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance