Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
