I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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