so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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