I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize