Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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