I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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