...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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