apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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