I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
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Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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