Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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