summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
