I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Moan for me like Helen Keller
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
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So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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