OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
