How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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