So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
