that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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