Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
