no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
