Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
