I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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