I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
