Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
