But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
