I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
